There is no complete handbook anywhere in the world today that will make parenting any easier. There is also no perfect formula that empowers parents to be seamless in the way they raise, educate, and equip their children. Quite often, parents unconsciously employ practices that they witness from their own parents growing up without fully realizing that there is always a better way to do things so that children develop healthy self-esteem and maintain their self-confidence as they mature. Shame, however, is a trigger at specific ages that prevents parents from doing what they ought to do to prepare their children for the real world. Sexuality and intimacy expert Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers is offering the right answers through her book Shameless Parenting.
The book is considered the 21st-century parenting book that parents today have been looking for. It talks about the sensitive experiences or phases that children go through from birth until the age of 18 that trigger shame. It intends to give parents a practical and easy-to-understand guide on how to be an effective source of emotional support for their children as they encounter shame. Dealing with shame, according to Dr. Sellers, is one of the hardest things parents have to face. Shame causes many parents to overreact and remember their own personal experiences that they have long been suppressing or avoiding.
Shameless Parenting is all about making parents confident about the concrete steps they can take as they dialogue with their children. It prepares them significantly for each stage of a child’s emotional and sexual development, including anticipating awkward and controversial conversations in the future. For Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers, it is important that parents are not caught off guard. Even if they are, they should be able to recover fast and think on their feet as their children rely on their emotional support. Together, both parents and their children can heal their shame and change their legacy.
“I want them to be able to bring compassion to themselves and to their parents/caregivers who likely parented them with a great deal of shame and ignorance, not understanding their normative behaviors as they grew, and were likely reactive with them, causing them to feel shame,” Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers revealed. “As people read the book, I want them to have a sense of re-parenting themselves, validating and acknowledging their typical development, and thus releasing any shame they may have acquired as a child or teenager. My hope as well is that the knowledge acquired in this book will give them the ability to support children in their lives with more accurate information, calm, and grace as the child navigates their growing up years,” she added.
Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers also sees the same struggle with couples and professionals, and it was because of this that she decided to develop a post-graduate training institute for professionals. Through her training, they can learn from leading sexual medicine and psychosocial providers, develop a comprehensive sexuality skill set, progress towards getting an AASECT certification and become an in-demand therapist. She wants to be able to equip them to broaden their experience, counsel without any biases, and be able to offer holistic solutions.
With Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers’ help, parents can be more intentional in preparing their children to face different realities as they mature, especially ones that involve sexuality and intimacy. As children feel more secure about processing the different stages of their lives with their parents, a new generation of confident and well-aware individuals can be expected to emerge.